Sunday, June 9, 2013

Back to music


Music drives you crazy,music make you insane,music gives you life and music never let you die alone.Finally I found those lost headphones back.Days are passing by and I'm wondering why I'm still around.No clue what to do next.One step ahead and I will fall and can't even step back.I finally continue to be alone wondering what my true purpose is,just getting away from all the stress and trying to protect my soul(from what?I am not sure about).A completely numb stage where you have no idea what to do next,you can't please everyone,you can't settle your differences.

A journey on a completely scary streets and no one to tell the directions.The various colours  life has shown in past few months will be  a part of my memories(Black-Blue,Black-White,Angel-Devil,green and what not....:D)
The multiple personalities I occupied to deal with the external world were the real source of anxiety and what I have carried forward with me even through all the turmoil I have been through will always be a bitter-sweet symphony of memories.Yes,I am recluse and deviant and unsocial and I prefer peace and quiet.I am kind of averse to going out with friends to parties and all(No time to get drunk,I am already at home :D)
Most people with that so called "social" tag live an extra ordinary life with party,light,booze and all other stuff.If this living life like a rich bastard is what you call life is all about,I would rather prefer to say I don't have a life.I lead a normal life,that innocent monster in me loves to live alone with those manipulated scary-senti *dreams*.

It's 2 am.Yes,it's raining cats and dogs and I'm here sitting near the window,in depth of solitude,all alone,doing nothing but tapping fingers on my laptop without any reason,the irritating darkness,the anguish,pain and image of those slimy backstabbers,dumb fuckers,asinine morons and lousy souls and many random thoughts in my fickle
mind never allow me to sleep.Emotions,what are they? Sometimes I wish I could kill some people.If it sounds abnormal,yes I am abnormal.Why can't we live the way we want to? Where is freedom? Why is it necessary to read and learn the shit we don't want to?Fuck all rules,regulations and all other society's terms and conditions.Fuck politics.Fuck Indian Education system.Yes,I am frustrated.And this venom spitted in form of words is due to this frustration.Dreams screwed,life screwed and still pretending as if nothing happens.Why I am living?

 The faint light coming from top of the window still enlighten a ray hope and keep asking the same question again "will a new life be achieved under the sun"?or that sun won't rise again? The completely clueless mind with no answers.What if I never wake up,it turns out to be a nightmare,a worst nightmare.What if this night never ends..what if??

P.S. Yes,results are out and this crap is an outcome of it.Yes,I am officially dead.